Perfection: the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.
I find it ironic that the definition of perfection includes the phrase “being free.” As I have found nothing about the pursuit of perfection leads to any kind of liberation. It’s pressurizing in the most binding way, not to mention, STRESSFUL.
I cannot recall the moment I learned what perfectionism was or realized I dealt with it. All I know is I have been a perfectionist since I can remember. Always coloring within the lines. Rule-follower. Maker of to-do lists. Collector of gold stars. Perfectionism came naturally to me and I am not sure why.
If there is anything life has taught me, is that life is no match for the perfectionist. Life easily becomes exhaustive when living through the lens of perfectionism. It becomes overwhelming and burdensome to endure.
What a shame, to go through life that way. There has to be another way. Therapy probably- but that’s not where I’m going with this.
It was all thanks to art school that I had a profound revelation.
It was my Observational Drawing class that was absolutely sucking the life out of me. Never have I ever been so frustrated. Painting is my usual medium of choice so drawing is completely out of my comfort zone. Give me acrylic, watercolor, gouache! Alas, I tried my best in this class and found myself absolutely desperate to bring up my grade because PERFECTIONISM! A’s are what we want and anything less than is a waste of time! Unfortunately, all my work seemed to fall short. Instructor Grady, if you’re out there…I REALLY tried and even though you hurt my fragile feelings I appreciate all your constructive criticism to this day!
It was an assignment where we had to draw landscape elements like trees, bushes, and flowers. The focus was on our marking techniques and creating value with our pencils. I drew dark contour lines and sketched tiny swirls to create leaves. I took my blending stick over harsh lines and blended them into my trees. Using my eraser, I deleted any stray marks and lightened the areas I made too dark. Then I took my pencil and went over it again to continue bringing my landscape to life.
And it hit me.
Each messy mark I made was needed to make my drawing become realistic. Every mistake I made was needed to develop the value. All those marks were bringing my sketches to life. My eraser was more than my delete button, it was a tool!
I thought to when I purchased my sketching pencils before the school semester.
I stared at the variety of pencils in Walmart for thirty minutes trying to figure out what to get. I found a sketching pencil pack that seemed to have everything you could possibly need. What I notice now is the kit included an eraser. The kit actually included several different kinds of erasers that serve different purposes. You have the gum eraser for lightening, the vinyl eraser for the stubborn marks, and the kneaded eraser. You see, mistakes are not only inevitable but necessary to the process! Even the manufacturer knew that! The eraser is vital and maybe the most important tool in the kit.
Same in the game of life.
Life is not perfect. It’s messy. But these moments of imperfection are so pivotal to the bigger picture.
I think it’s easy to get caught up in wanting the perfected, finished product. So much so that we miss what is right in front of us.
We desire the perfect career but neglect to see how our current job is preparing us for that career someday.
We long for a perfect family of our own but we fail to see the incredible people around us who make doing life so fun.
We want the perfect car, house, and wardrobe but those things are not what add significant value to our life.
We want the perfect drawing without realizing that in order to achieve that we have to do some erasing. Then some more drawing. And yeah…probably more erasing.
We have to get messy. If we can embrace the mess I think we find more liberty that way.
More joy.
More beauty.
More peace.
Maybe we can bury our perfectionism, the endless desire for better, and the belief we are not good enough. Bury them and never look back! Perhaps we can learn to let go a little!
One of the world’s best said it like this:
“It’s the imperfections that make something beautiful. That’s what makes it different and unique from everything else.”
Bob Ross
Perfection is overrated. Let’s make some happy little accidents!
